And the diagnosis is

labral tear and hip impingement!!!  I knew I wasn't nuts.  Doc said there was a lot of stuff going on in that area, that he confirmed a lot of scar tissue in that area and most likely I'd injured it previously but like an idiot (my words) kept running on it. 

Peoples of the Earth who happen to read Xanga (what a tiny Venn diagram overlap that is, amirite?), I don't know the difference between ache and pain or the point when nagging pain becomes severe injury.  Is it because I gave birth, that whole labor pains can live through anything pains?  WTF?  Give me the drugs.  Just dope me up.

Doc said I need osteochondroplasty.  Link is kind of graphic. 

http://www.hipkneeclinic.com/article.asp?article=71

Anyway, this means I need surgery.  They've scheduled it for November 20th and for the first several days, I have to wear a hip brace, only taking it off for physical therapy exercises and to bathe.  But it says in the instructions after the ok, I need to cycle 20 to 30 minutes twice a day to aid muscle recovery.  Even though it'll be 0 resistance, ugh, sitting in that saddle?  That's probably not going to be comfortable.  I guess I'll switch the pedals so I don't have to wear my cycling shoes.  After surgery, I'll need about 4 months of physical therapy.  Probably not the nice kind where I get my crotch massaged for 45 minutes. 

So throw finding a house on top of all my things to do before the end of the year.  I'm talking with Christoph tonight on what this means when he comes to visit.  It's now IF he comes to visit because honey's horny as a damned 15 year old and isn't taking the fact I can't move my hips for a few weeks very well.  No, dear, you're not acting like an asshat at all!  I'll let him have his hissy fit. 

OW.  The anesthesia has worn off and I'm feeling it all now! 

House owner STILL hasn't contacted me and this is her second month of missing a mortgage payment.  I can't make the payment for her.  Bank won't let me pay it because it reveals information, insurance won't give me personal information.  As they shouldn't.  So I'm one step closer to abandoning the house.  I can't believe I'm in this position.  I'm trying to buy this place but there's nobody to buy FROM.  Ahhhh, if I had the luxury of traveling the world and not worrying about material possessions.  Or discarding 112 year old houses like tissue. 

LooooOOoooOooooOOOOOpy.

That was what I was most of the day yesterday.  I went into Baptist Hospital East and got my arthrogram and it took well over 3 hours from paperwork to getting out the door.  Before the MRI, I went to radiology where they injected me with the stuff that I thought could get me nauseated but nope.  It got me happy painless.  It stung a little getting injected into my hip but as the chemicals with the dye and the anesthetic agent settled into the scar tissue, I started feeling really, really good.  Since I went in at noon and it took me about half an hour or so to drive there from Indiana, I didn't get to eat lunch beforehand so I was extra floaty. 

It helped that I knew the radiology nurse, that we'd seen each other at parties and are both single moms.  She made the time fly and said because my hip was feeling better from the dye, chances are more likely 1) it's a tear and 2) the tear will show up on the MRI.  Good.  Very good.  I want a diagnosis.

The MRI itself was louder and way longer than the one I had when I strained my hamstring.  It was a little over an hour and the noise gave me a bit of a headache.  They taped my feet together to help keep my muscles in my hip relaxed.  Since that's where the injection was centralized, I wasn't feeling anything there.  Where I felt strain was my back.  I really wanted to reposition but I was so proud, didn't move a muscle.  I paid for it later in the day when my headlights burned out and I had to change them in the dark (driving with my brights on to Autozone - I was that asshat).  Figures I'd find my flashlight right after I got the headlight with the tricky latch finally changed. 

I went back to work and showed my co-worker "Hey, you can punch me in the hip like this *punch* and I ain't gonna feel nothin!"  She asked if it was safe for me to drive.  I think I should've just gone home to bed.  Still, it was the best sleep in many, many weeks. 

Results Friday.

Tonight I got through a 2000 m straight swim and it was weird.  I felt like I couldn't really use my right leg but I guess I should have rested one more day.  No pain but no solid control underwater.  Got through the mile mark in a very slow 37 minutes but at least it was pretty consistent pace.  The last 400 meters was much faster so I feel I finished strong.  Note to self, must get lotion.  My skin is like leather. 

Sunday brings a visit to a crazy looking house that's talking to me.  I swear, it reminds me of Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation.  Maybe it's my future home?  Or maybe I need to wait a few more days until the drugs wear off before deciding?  Probably.

I have a 'date' with @Leoparditz when the Magic Mike DVD comes out and we're going to live tweet until we laugh ourselves into oblivion.  So to celebrate that, here's a Magic Mike parody from Joseph Gordon-Levitt's monologue from SNL. 

Much needed levity for the week.  It's so depressing at work right now.

Just got through a 3,000yd swim and 30 minutes of my physical therapy stretches.

I'm getting up extra early in the morning so I can Nair for my beloved physical therapist since he'll be rubbing and applying ultrasound heat to my crotch for 45 minutes.  I just wonder how many groins you have to see before it's not odd or giggle inducing or awkward.  Especially penises.  Not that I have a penis but when they're flaccid, they're kind of funny.  But I digress.  Nairing's one's cooch when you're Asian and your pubic hair are like steel threads is a chore but I don't have any wax.  Fuck it.  I should just do laser hair removal.

I'm starting week 4 of physical therapy then I can say "This hasn't helped one damned bit" and can get that contrast dye MRI, the catch all of all freaky MRI's.  I really like my PT, he's very knowledgeable, got employee of the year in 2010 at the hospital where he works and is an avid marathoner.  And I've said he's damned cute, right?  He's damned cute.  The other guy I see is not a runner but shazammmm, he's a martial artist into Gracie Jiu Jitsu, Karate, Judo and Tai Chi.  Also, big MMA fan. 

So with both, I have plenty to talk about while I'm getting stretched like a pretzel and other things.

Sometimes when I'm nervous, I tend to babble a lot.

I mentioned other things above.  So when one has a groin injury, one has to take one's knickers and skivvies off to get one's ultrasound therapy and for massages.  I did mention it's a groin injury, right?  It's a total groin injury.

I have to remind myself these guys are getting paid but, um, it's frickin' awesome yet awkward and I can't stop babbling like a damned brook through these sessions.  Maybe I can just drink iced coffee through these things? 

Here's a fun exercise video from Korean Mommy Says.  This reminds me of my Tita.  Sounds JUST LIKE HER.  And she's typically Asian skinny and still pinches my love handles and likes to say my boobs are fat boobs, not real boobs because they go away when I lose weight.  I'm giving myself Asian girl PTSD.  ARGH!

I huge sigh of relief this morning - yours truly's credit score starts in the 7's and was pre-approved for a mortgage loan.  WOOHOOOOOOOO!!!  So if this house falls through, I can be on the lookout for another and that's such a relief.  I feel like I've won the lottery, well, you know, as much as you can working the last decade getting out of debt built from the decade before that. 

The woman who owns the house I'm currently in left the country for Australia but also left a mess of unfinished business.  All kinds of messes.  I'm not sure how most if it will be fixed but she's not answering her e-mails so . . . besides the inspection, it's the thing that will keep me from buying the house. 

After I left the bank, I attempted to walk/run a mile.  I was ok up until I hit about half a mile.  I wasn't in pain but the second I felt a twinge, I stopped with the intervals and I walked it in.  After that, I picked up a standing lamp and swam 3000m.  It was almost 3pm by the time I was showered and got home to change into some fresh clothes for a last minute add to my weekend agenda.

Today, I met some of my old friends for a Tai Chi seminar.  The one hour lecture ended up a three hour practice!!  It was wonderful.  I was smiling the entire time and the energy of the class, oh, I haven't felt that in such a long time.  I miss them all.  Some of the women from the local Gilda's Club attended and they did great!!  It's very important to be able to modify form for more fragile constitutions - maybe they cannot do the full expression of a form but they can build positive energy and feel the flow of movement without stress on the joints or other areas that may be in pain due to treatment or degenerative diseases.  It was a great class, everyone was up to try more advanced forms and full of laughter.  Coordination wasn't always in my favor.  Bwa!  We practiced outdoors in the shade and it was lovely.  I love fall.  It was easy to make connections today. 

Life since my mom's death have gotten a little less, well, I'm finding myself a little less staring into space than I was earlier in the week.  The weather has been beautiful and it would make me said she couldn't experience it at first.  I guess that's guilt.  I can see the day, I have life to experience, I can experience joy.  But there've been billions of days like this in the past and there will be going forward.  I'll only see a few more decades of this world myself so I'll try to fill it with as many adventures as possible, be that habitual seeker. 

To life, liberty and the pursuit of!

Protected up

My mom died on Monday.

A study was done with capuchin monkeys on how they respond to inequity of pay for the same work.  Results are pretty much what you'd think but I really wish I could respond like the monkey to my boss. 

Karen, your job sucks.  You should throw the rock.